OBEDIENCE

Matt posted a while ago on this song that A was learning at preschool...

O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E
Obedience is the very best way
To show that you believe.

Do exactly as the Lord commands
Do it joyfully...

That's all I know of it!

Matt really dislikes that song and was disapointed that it is the one she really learned. S even learned it from listening! You should check out his post!

Today I was talking to an awesome friend about the subject of obedience and how to balance living in grace and living obedient lives.

Tonight at our youth Ephesians study at our house, we talked about it more! It's been a theme...

The conclusion that we have come to has to do with the root of the disobedience. If we take the two trees in the Garden of Eden. One being the Tree of Life and the other being the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The Tree of Life signifies living in complete dependence on God in faith. The other signifies living independently of God in our own self-sufficiency. We develop flesh patterns and rely on our own coping mechanisms instead of the sufficiency of God's grace in us.

My conclusion today was that the act of obedience begins at dependence on Christ and rest in His sufficiency (Tree of Life). As soon as I begin to live in my own flesh and self-sufficiency (other tree) I enter into sin and disobedience. So the actual sin comes before the "sin" that is more recognizable. Example: At home with my kids I am thinking this is a great day and I can be a great mom today. So I enter into disobedience if I am thinking that in my strength I can be a great mom today. The Bible says that apart from Him we can do nothing and that anything done outside of faith is sin. The reacting to my children in a harsh way is a resulting sin from the original sin of living independently from Him. Yet, the sin I choose to address is often the harsh words to the girls. Then begins a cycle of wanting myself and God to "fix" my flesh. God has told me time and time again..."I will not make your flesh attractive. I will not fix your flesh, but I am victorious over your flesh and will live an attractive life through you as you depend and surrender." Rest, dependence, surrender...by His grace I do these things. Living out the Christian life and fulfilling the law...He does these things through me. He takes my heavy burdens and exchanges them for a light one. One of rest and trust in a loving, faithful, trustworthy Daddy. His grace is sufficient for me. I think I'll post that verse on my mirror!

Also, the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil has a good side and can produce fruit that looks good. But, not in complete dependence on God, it is sin. I often eat off of that tree in self-sufficiency and think I am obeying because the fruit looks good...

New Day

Today has been much better. Baby is sleeping and girls are in room time as a consequence for all of the screaming/fighting last night. It's nice to have a little down time! :)

Learning to rest in Christ despite circumstances is quite a ride!

Bedtime

There are moments in parenting that are simply indescribable. Tonight was that for me. If I even tried to put into words what was going on in this house...I could not do it justice.

I walked out of my peaceful girls room at 7:30 tonight. I read books to them from 7:00-7:30 in hopes that they would wind down and they did. They were worn out, tired, and ready to sleep...now I sit here at 10:00 on the verge of tears. They are finally all asleep. I held it together while I dealt with them, but now I feel like I might fall apart.

At the moment, my self-talk goes like this:

They are children. Pushing the limits is part of their development...right?! I can respond-not react. Christ lives in me, He knows them, He knows what is happening in their hearts. He knows what they need and don't need. He knows me. He knows what I need and don't need. Only He can give me peace in the midst of the last two hours and the rest of the weekend...and life with children.

Don't get me wrong-I love my children deeply. I wouldn't trade them for anything, but tonight, once again God has shown me that I can't possibly be the great mother that I want to be. In my self and flesh I am simply not equipped to deal with the degree of problems here. I am thankful that my children consistently bring me to the place of I CAN'T. That is an awesome conclusion because HE CAN. He will and I will trust Him to do exactly what they need as I rest in Him. "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and YOU SHALL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For my yoke is easy, and My load is light." Matthew 11:28-30

No matter what it is in each of our lives that is beyond our ability...we can all find rest for our souls in Christ.

I surrender my control of my kids to Him. I trust Him to get it done...well! I will rest in His sufficiency.


"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me." I Corinthians 12:9

THE Shoes

We skipped nap today and headed to the mall to get a few things. I was looking for a pair of dressy heals, so A, S, and I were hanging out at one of those sale shoe racks in Macy's. I found a silver pair with jewels in my size that were similar to what I was looking for. A found the same shoe in a smaller size and told me that she wanted to buy shoes like that for her married. I said the famous, "Oh, that sounds good," and we went on with our shopping.

On our way out of the mall we walked by the shoe rack again to show Matt the shoes I found. Ania looked and looked for the one she found, because she had to try it on again and show Daddy. She finally found it and the conversation with Matt went something like this...

"I really want to buy this shoe, but I can't find the other foot!"
"They don't keep the left shoe out here sweetie, this is the only one."
"How do I buy it then?"
"Well, we are not going to buy this shoe today. They will keep the other one in the back until someone else buys it."
"But I am wearing it to my married!" At this point she was starting to panic.
"I'm sure you will find another one when you're getting married. We can't get that one today."
Sadly she answered, "I think someone else is going to buy it before I get married."
"Yes, someone else will probably buy it, but you will find another one to go with your wedding dress when it's time to get married."

Matt walked away and A stood there holding the shoe...staring at it. She was having an extremely hard time parting with it. Then, she had an idea and excitedly walked over to Matt...

"Daddy, may I please buy this shoe now and save it for my married?"
"Sweetie, we don't know if it will fit when you get married. Also, you don't know if it will match the dress you pick out!"
"I AM WEARING MOMMY'S WEDDING DRESS! This matches perfectwy!"
"I know you love that shoe A, but you are going to have to wait this time. You don't need it right now. When it is time for you to get married, we'll go pick out some very pretty shoes."
Her response was a very sad, "Okay."

I so wanted to buy her the shoes! :)

A grieved for the shoe for a few minutes, and then thankfully got over it when we let her push L's stroller around!

What a cutie!

Go Fish

The other night our family had our first game night! While baby slept, the rest of us sat in a circle and played Go Fish. Little S needed quite a bit of help, but both girls actually sat down to play several rounds! S held up her card and said, "Dayee, do you have one like this?!" His answer was actually, "Go Taco," because we were playing with cards from a Taco Cabana kids meal. I haven't seen much of Matt's competitive side, but apparently, playing Go Taco with preschoolers brings it out of hiding!

With Ephesians 1:3 in mind from my previous post...do we pray sort of like we play Go Fish? When we play go fish we are asking for something we already have...

so, if we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus, when I ask for patience with my girls I am asking for something that I already have in Christ. So, really maybe I need to believe that I have it and surrender my own way of doing things to experience the blessing of patience that God has already given.

Just a thought...what do you think?

Blessed Again

I have a final thought on this blessings topic.

Ephesians 1:3
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ...

I have never paid close attention to this verse before. We, who are in Christ, have already been blessed with every spiritual blessing!

That's cool.

Community

I am amazed to see the beauty of God's creation in my family and friends. I love hanging out with friends that God has placed in my life. Getting to know women that pursue Him with such passion is awesome.

What a "blessing" :) to witness lives being transformed and filled by an awesome God.

I love you friends!

Blessed Continued

One of the greatest blessings God ever bestowed on me, was one of emotional and mental suffering. God took me through circumstances that brought me to my emotional and mental end. I was at a point where I could not function anymore with a happy word and a smile on my face. I was miserable in my circumstances and everyone around me knew it...and didn't like it! Youth pastor's wives are not supposed to be unhappy! Happiness just comes with being a youth pastor's wife...right?!
Well, I could not fake it any more. I was hurting so deeply and just wanted to give up in every area. These feelings drove me to an angel from God, Gwen Moore, who discipled me in knowing God as my Father and God as my very life. She taught me who I am in Christ and who He is in me. My life has never been the same.
If I would not have hit bottom in the midst of difficult circumstances, I might have worn the fake smile for a lot longer and missed out on moments of the very full life that living in Christ brings.