There are moments in parenting that are simply indescribable. Tonight was that for me. If I even tried to put into words what was going on in this house...I could not do it justice.
I walked out of my peaceful girls room at 7:30 tonight. I read books to them from 7:00-7:30 in hopes that they would wind down and they did. They were worn out, tired, and ready to sleep...now I sit here at 10:00 on the verge of tears. They are finally all asleep. I held it together while I dealt with them, but now I feel like I might fall apart.
At the moment, my self-talk goes like this:
They are children. Pushing the limits is part of their development...right?! I can respond-not react. Christ lives in me, He knows them, He knows what is happening in their hearts. He knows what they need and don't need. He knows me. He knows what I need and don't need. Only He can give me peace in the midst of the last two hours and the rest of the weekend...and life with children.
Don't get me wrong-I love my children deeply. I wouldn't trade them for anything, but tonight, once again God has shown me that I can't possibly be the great mother that I want to be. In my self and flesh I am simply not equipped to deal with the degree of problems here. I am thankful that my children consistently bring me to the place of I CAN'T. That is an awesome conclusion because HE CAN. He will and I will trust Him to do exactly what they need as I rest in Him. "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and YOU SHALL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For my yoke is easy, and My load is light." Matthew 11:28-30
No matter what it is in each of our lives that is beyond our ability...we can all find rest for our souls in Christ.
I surrender my control of my kids to Him. I trust Him to get it done...well! I will rest in His sufficiency.
"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me." I Corinthians 12:9
6 years ago
2 comments:
We had one of those nights too--two in a row actually. We were all parented by fallen people, and I'm assured by the thought that Christ can work miracles in them too.
I love you and your family so much. We miss you and think of you often.
I so want to hug you right now :)
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