OBEDIENCE

Matt posted a while ago on this song that A was learning at preschool...

O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E
Obedience is the very best way
To show that you believe.

Do exactly as the Lord commands
Do it joyfully...

That's all I know of it!

Matt really dislikes that song and was disapointed that it is the one she really learned. S even learned it from listening! You should check out his post!

Today I was talking to an awesome friend about the subject of obedience and how to balance living in grace and living obedient lives.

Tonight at our youth Ephesians study at our house, we talked about it more! It's been a theme...

The conclusion that we have come to has to do with the root of the disobedience. If we take the two trees in the Garden of Eden. One being the Tree of Life and the other being the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The Tree of Life signifies living in complete dependence on God in faith. The other signifies living independently of God in our own self-sufficiency. We develop flesh patterns and rely on our own coping mechanisms instead of the sufficiency of God's grace in us.

My conclusion today was that the act of obedience begins at dependence on Christ and rest in His sufficiency (Tree of Life). As soon as I begin to live in my own flesh and self-sufficiency (other tree) I enter into sin and disobedience. So the actual sin comes before the "sin" that is more recognizable. Example: At home with my kids I am thinking this is a great day and I can be a great mom today. So I enter into disobedience if I am thinking that in my strength I can be a great mom today. The Bible says that apart from Him we can do nothing and that anything done outside of faith is sin. The reacting to my children in a harsh way is a resulting sin from the original sin of living independently from Him. Yet, the sin I choose to address is often the harsh words to the girls. Then begins a cycle of wanting myself and God to "fix" my flesh. God has told me time and time again..."I will not make your flesh attractive. I will not fix your flesh, but I am victorious over your flesh and will live an attractive life through you as you depend and surrender." Rest, dependence, surrender...by His grace I do these things. Living out the Christian life and fulfilling the law...He does these things through me. He takes my heavy burdens and exchanges them for a light one. One of rest and trust in a loving, faithful, trustworthy Daddy. His grace is sufficient for me. I think I'll post that verse on my mirror!

Also, the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil has a good side and can produce fruit that looks good. But, not in complete dependence on God, it is sin. I often eat off of that tree in self-sufficiency and think I am obeying because the fruit looks good...

New Day

Today has been much better. Baby is sleeping and girls are in room time as a consequence for all of the screaming/fighting last night. It's nice to have a little down time! :)

Learning to rest in Christ despite circumstances is quite a ride!

Bedtime

There are moments in parenting that are simply indescribable. Tonight was that for me. If I even tried to put into words what was going on in this house...I could not do it justice.

I walked out of my peaceful girls room at 7:30 tonight. I read books to them from 7:00-7:30 in hopes that they would wind down and they did. They were worn out, tired, and ready to sleep...now I sit here at 10:00 on the verge of tears. They are finally all asleep. I held it together while I dealt with them, but now I feel like I might fall apart.

At the moment, my self-talk goes like this:

They are children. Pushing the limits is part of their development...right?! I can respond-not react. Christ lives in me, He knows them, He knows what is happening in their hearts. He knows what they need and don't need. He knows me. He knows what I need and don't need. Only He can give me peace in the midst of the last two hours and the rest of the weekend...and life with children.

Don't get me wrong-I love my children deeply. I wouldn't trade them for anything, but tonight, once again God has shown me that I can't possibly be the great mother that I want to be. In my self and flesh I am simply not equipped to deal with the degree of problems here. I am thankful that my children consistently bring me to the place of I CAN'T. That is an awesome conclusion because HE CAN. He will and I will trust Him to do exactly what they need as I rest in Him. "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and YOU SHALL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For my yoke is easy, and My load is light." Matthew 11:28-30

No matter what it is in each of our lives that is beyond our ability...we can all find rest for our souls in Christ.

I surrender my control of my kids to Him. I trust Him to get it done...well! I will rest in His sufficiency.


"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me." I Corinthians 12:9

THE Shoes

We skipped nap today and headed to the mall to get a few things. I was looking for a pair of dressy heals, so A, S, and I were hanging out at one of those sale shoe racks in Macy's. I found a silver pair with jewels in my size that were similar to what I was looking for. A found the same shoe in a smaller size and told me that she wanted to buy shoes like that for her married. I said the famous, "Oh, that sounds good," and we went on with our shopping.

On our way out of the mall we walked by the shoe rack again to show Matt the shoes I found. Ania looked and looked for the one she found, because she had to try it on again and show Daddy. She finally found it and the conversation with Matt went something like this...

"I really want to buy this shoe, but I can't find the other foot!"
"They don't keep the left shoe out here sweetie, this is the only one."
"How do I buy it then?"
"Well, we are not going to buy this shoe today. They will keep the other one in the back until someone else buys it."
"But I am wearing it to my married!" At this point she was starting to panic.
"I'm sure you will find another one when you're getting married. We can't get that one today."
Sadly she answered, "I think someone else is going to buy it before I get married."
"Yes, someone else will probably buy it, but you will find another one to go with your wedding dress when it's time to get married."

Matt walked away and A stood there holding the shoe...staring at it. She was having an extremely hard time parting with it. Then, she had an idea and excitedly walked over to Matt...

"Daddy, may I please buy this shoe now and save it for my married?"
"Sweetie, we don't know if it will fit when you get married. Also, you don't know if it will match the dress you pick out!"
"I AM WEARING MOMMY'S WEDDING DRESS! This matches perfectwy!"
"I know you love that shoe A, but you are going to have to wait this time. You don't need it right now. When it is time for you to get married, we'll go pick out some very pretty shoes."
Her response was a very sad, "Okay."

I so wanted to buy her the shoes! :)

A grieved for the shoe for a few minutes, and then thankfully got over it when we let her push L's stroller around!

What a cutie!

Go Fish

The other night our family had our first game night! While baby slept, the rest of us sat in a circle and played Go Fish. Little S needed quite a bit of help, but both girls actually sat down to play several rounds! S held up her card and said, "Dayee, do you have one like this?!" His answer was actually, "Go Taco," because we were playing with cards from a Taco Cabana kids meal. I haven't seen much of Matt's competitive side, but apparently, playing Go Taco with preschoolers brings it out of hiding!

With Ephesians 1:3 in mind from my previous post...do we pray sort of like we play Go Fish? When we play go fish we are asking for something we already have...

so, if we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus, when I ask for patience with my girls I am asking for something that I already have in Christ. So, really maybe I need to believe that I have it and surrender my own way of doing things to experience the blessing of patience that God has already given.

Just a thought...what do you think?

Blessed Again

I have a final thought on this blessings topic.

Ephesians 1:3
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ...

I have never paid close attention to this verse before. We, who are in Christ, have already been blessed with every spiritual blessing!

That's cool.

Community

I am amazed to see the beauty of God's creation in my family and friends. I love hanging out with friends that God has placed in my life. Getting to know women that pursue Him with such passion is awesome.

What a "blessing" :) to witness lives being transformed and filled by an awesome God.

I love you friends!

Blessed Continued

One of the greatest blessings God ever bestowed on me, was one of emotional and mental suffering. God took me through circumstances that brought me to my emotional and mental end. I was at a point where I could not function anymore with a happy word and a smile on my face. I was miserable in my circumstances and everyone around me knew it...and didn't like it! Youth pastor's wives are not supposed to be unhappy! Happiness just comes with being a youth pastor's wife...right?!
Well, I could not fake it any more. I was hurting so deeply and just wanted to give up in every area. These feelings drove me to an angel from God, Gwen Moore, who discipled me in knowing God as my Father and God as my very life. She taught me who I am in Christ and who He is in me. My life has never been the same.
If I would not have hit bottom in the midst of difficult circumstances, I might have worn the fake smile for a lot longer and missed out on moments of the very full life that living in Christ brings.

Blessed

This is part of Webster's definition of blessed:
Bless"ed
a. 1. Hallowed; consecrated; worthy of blessing or adoration; heavenly; holy.
2. Enjoying happiness or bliss; favored with blessings; happy; highly favored.
All generations shall call me blessed. --Luke i. 48.
3. Imparting happiness or bliss; fraught with happiness; blissful; joyful.
4. Enjoying, or pertaining to, spiritual happiness, or heavenly felicity; as, the blessed in heaven.
5. (R. C. Ch.) Beatified.
6. Used euphemistically, ironically, or intensively. Not a blessed man came to set her [a boat] free. --R. D. Blackmore.

I have been thinking about this word for so long. The way it has been used in churches has always bothered me a little bit. For instance, "God was taking care of us-we are so blessed, the tornado turned and hit another town instead of ours." Doesn't that statement imply that God IS NOT taking care of the towns that were in the path of the tornado? Another lady said, "We have been so blessed (speaking of her successful business and financial prosperity.) We have been able to build our dream house...etc." My question to that is, Is financial prosperity and reaching the "American Dream" always a blessing? My good friend Celena recently wrote a great blog about the American Dream. Reading her blog finally motivated me to write this one.

It seems to me that God's blessings are more complex than physical protection, financial prosperity, and the accomplishment of our dreams. When I think of God's greatest blessings in my life it has very little to do with how much money I have.

Doesn't Paul make reference to financial situations being somewhat irrelevant in Philippians 4?

I believe that His true blessings have more to do with our spiritual health and betterment than our physical health. Sometimes physical illness is the blessing we need to bring us to a point of trusting Him. If declaring bankruptcy is what will bring us to dependence on Him with our finances, then running out of money would be a huge blessing. Living poor in Christ each day is more of a blessing than living rich independently of Him. If we are able to be rich, dependent on Him, and help others in need, then in that case the money is a blessing.

Does the blessing have less to do with the money, than the spiritual work God is doing using health, money, circumstances, etc.?

Sometimes debt is a blessing, sometimes money is a blessing. Sometimes sickness is a blessing, sometimes health is a blessing. Sometimes safety is a blessing, but sometimes destruction is a blessing.

I think God desires for all of us to live a full, abundant life in Christ and any means to bring us to that end is the greatest blessing from Him that we can ever have...whether or not it is fun and comfortable is another story! :)

Any thoughts on this? I would love to hear them!

Friends

Two of A's best friends moved away about a year ago. She has missed them so much and often asks to visit them. Coordinating three family schedules for a visit has been difficult, but we finally made it up yesterday to see both of her friends.
We played at a McDonalds with Andy and Ellie first and then played at her friend Anabeth's house.
We all had a really nice time and enjoyed catching up with special friends.
We took a few pictures with Matt's iphone at McDonalds.

Andy

A made a close friend in her 3-year-old mdo class named Andy. The summer after that class Andy moved about 2 hours away. On and off A has talked about Andy, missed him, and wanted to see him. This weekend we were going to go visit his family. Just before we were leaving his mom called to tell us he had been throwing up and wasn't up for the visit. She also told me this conversation they had about A...
"Mommy, who do you think A will marry?"
"I don't know Andy, do you want to marry her?"
"No, no, I wasn't saying that. I was just saying that if she wanted to get married, that would be okay with me."
So cute!
He's a precious boy and I hope she marries a sweetheart like him!

Survey

my friend put this on her blog and i thought it might be fun to do, you're supposed to answer every ? in one word...if you're up for it, post your responses :)

1. Where is your cell phone? somewhere
2. Your significant other? matt
3. Your hair? up
4. Your mother? cute
5. Your father? goofy
6. Your favorite thing? sunshine
7. Your dream last night? hmmm...
8. Your favorite drink? water
9. Your dream/goal? surrender
10. The room you're in? office
12. Your fear? suffering
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? anywhere
14. Where were you last night? norvells
15. What you're not? shallow
16. Muffins? banana
17. One of your wish list items? mommymobile
18. Where you grew up? portland
19. The last thing you did? bedtime
20. What are you wearing? workout
21. Your TV? reality
22. Your pets? precious
23. Your computer? nonexistent
24. Your life? fun
25. Your mood? good
26. Missing someone? always
27. Your car? DIRTY
28. Something you're not wearing? shoes
29. Favorite Store? target
30. Your summer? HOT
31. Like someone? yea
32. Your favorite color? pink
33. When is the last time you laughed? tonight

Bugs

Since S asked Jesus into her heart, she has been quite taken with the idea of heaven. Today she found three dead bugs. Each time she bends over and studies it, then the conversation goes like this.
"Mommy, see this bug?"
"Yes."
"This bug is killed."
"Yes, that's too bad."
"Oh, I hope he goes to heaven! Will he go to heaven Mommy?"
Man, that question is hard to answer. Especially with this sweet little 2-year-old staring at me with big sad eyes!
I answer,
"I don't know sweetheart. I do know that God cares for everything He makes."
Then she walks around the house saying, "Yea, yea, okay. God cares for everything He Makes. Yea, yea."

Wifey Continued

In our community group last night we talked about Ephesians 5. In verse 8, Paul writes,

"For you were formerly darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light."

Then in verse13 he says,

"But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light."

When I think of this in the context of wifehood...

My community group leader, Will, pointed out that it doesn't say that we were formerly in darkness and now are in light. It says that we were darkness and now are light in the Lord. So, Christ in us has made us the light.
So, as believers with Christ in us, we are the light in our marriage relationships. When we focus on that truth and live focused on the light in us, then darkness will fall away in our lives. The darkness that makes it difficult for us to be "godly wives" will fall away as we believe and set our minds on Christ.
Just thinking practically, Matt and my fights usually start with some sort of fear on my part. I then over-react about small issues. Matt then responds to me, in my opinion, poorly, and off we go! Taking this example, if I was living in an awareness of Christ in me as the light, the fear would not take over in the first place and the entire fight would be avoided. Christ in me as my light lives in unity with Matt in a very loving, peaceful, and completely godly way. Our good times never come from us mustering up enough effort to meet each other's needs or follow biblical behavior guidelines. They come from experiencing life in Christ personally and sharing that with each other. Christ through us is an awesome spouse!!
Kind of goes along with our righteousness coming through faith in Christ...not through works!

Happy Birthday

Little S decided Saturday to ask Jesus into her heart. She is the very same age A was when she made the decision. With both of them we held back thinking they were too young to understand it all and make the decision. God has given them such pure faith and it's exciting to see them respond to Him. They have responded to Him so differently according to their different personalities; it's been lovely to watch. They are too young and uninhibited to hide His voice or activity in their lives. They don't explain away His voice and it's exciting to teach them at these young ages what He "sounds" like!

Sunday we had a little birthday celebration for her with cupcakes and Happy Birthday!

Tonight S was telling Nana about her decision. She was trying to spit out, "Jesus made me brand new on the inside." She was having a bit of trouble getting in out. A was standing behind her shouting, "She's been washed by the bwood of the Wamb, Nana! Nana! She's been washed by the bwood of the Wamb!"

Wifey

Matt calls me his wifey. :) I like the nickname. Lately I have friends reading books about being godly wives. Our pastor just did a sermon on Proverbs 31 and I've been thinking a lot about being a wife. It seems that there is quite a bit of focus on how to be a "godly wife" in the church. I think it's been that way for a long time, because I remember my mom learning about it throughout my childhood.

Here are some of the thoughts I have been pondering...

Are we created to be helpmates for our husbands, or lovers of God? Are you asking, must it be either or? Well, the focus has to be somewhere, right? If we are focused on a quest to submit and be a helpmate for our husband, will we lose sight of resting in the Lord and being His bride? Are we just created to be His, and as we live our life in Him we will begin to walk the road of godly wifehood?

I have been raised in a family full of strong women. My sister is the first of us to be an official feminist, but for generations, the women have been fighters. I also have an exceptional husband that does not ever put any pressure or guilt on me to live up to anything in any area. I enjoy our relationship and think we are learning so much each day about how to love, respect, and serve each other. We have experienced something very interesting...the more we stop putting guilt and pressure on ourselves to "be godly," the more godly we become in our relationship. The more we trust Christ to live in us and through us, the more we see His activity in our marriage. The more we rest in Him, the more we see Him in each other. I am very thankful for him and we are enjoying exploring this discussion together. Maybe he will comment here...:)


I know that this can be a very hot topic, but I would love your input!

Proverbs 31

My good friend, Crystal, wrote this comment responding to my last post.

"I have no problem with Proverbs 31, of course. But I think this text is isolated far too often as the catch all description of godly womanhood. Lots of good writing and insight have come from this short chapter, but I'm afraid it has been misused to induce a fair amount of guilt--mostly in small groups of women who torture themselves with measuring up to the details of the passage."

Amen.

Proverbs 31

My pastor's sermon this morning was about the Proverbs 31 woman...what do you ladies out there think, believe, feel about the Proverbs 31 woman and the sermons you have heard about her?

Stu

I was reading a comment on my Stormado post and responding to it tonight. It reminded me of a story from this summer when A was asking a lot about God, death, Heaven, etc. She has always expressed a lot of excitement whenever we talk about going to heaven and being with Jesus. She has a sincere childlike love for God and Jesus and really looks forward to sleeping in the room that Jesus will prepare for her. :) She is always asking if He will stay in the room with her. This summer she was all excited to go to heaven, then she got quiet for a while. About ten minutes later she said, "Mommy, I really want to go see Jesus, but I will really miss Stu!" (Stu is a buddy of hers that she loves dearly...obviously!) At the age of 4 boys are already on the mind! Wow. She decided that she and Stu needed to die at the same time so they could go to heaven together. I guess she'll have to take that one up with God!

Adoration

I just started an amazing book called Adoration by Martha Kilpatrick. A good friend gave me the book months ago, but I just started reading it yesterday. Wow, it's so good! It's about Mary of Bethany...

"Mary and Martha...cannot be explained by the distinctions of temperament or personality. They do not stand for alternative ways to follow God: 'This way or that way, whichever suits you best.' Mary and Martha, symbols of choice...between what gains God against what loses Him.

We defend in Martha that which Jesus condemned. This only proves that we are...Marthas, independent and unheeding of His will, dealing only with our preference...Just as she was."

Ouch.

"Two roads of choice: An open road of comfortable width, pleasing to humanity and an austere path, gated and obscure. Only one way leads to God and 'there are few who find it.' Matthew 7, 13, 14"

This was such a strong point for me. I have heard many talks/teachings on Mary and Martha, but never one with such boldness. The dependent life of sitting at the feet of Jesus is not a easy road or easy way of living. It is not "pleasing" to many of our human desires or tendencies, but definitely rewarding and full of great joy...in the end. The beginning, learning to release our dreams, goals, wants, comforts, etc. is very difficult, but in the end, most definitely worth it!

That section was from the introduction! I am looking forward to spending time reading and wrestling with this book. I think God is really going to reveal a lot to me through it-especially when it comes to sitting at His feet, resting in Him, loving Him, trusting Him...I am very excited!

If you are interested in the book you can get it at http://shulamite.com.