Child, Let It All Go!

Matt bought A and S valentine gifts from a mail order fair trade company. Their necklaces were made by children recovering from a tsunami, and much of the profit from the necklaces goes straight to them as they try to put their lives back together.

Matt told the girls the story of the children making their necklaces, and every night since, the girls have wanted to pray for these children. Tonight while we were reading stories, the subject of these children without houses came up again.

S: "I think we should just let them come live at our ouse, with us!"

Me: "That's a great idea S." While I encouraged this "great idea," inside I didn't really think so. I have my world much too ordered for this. To let homeless children and families come live here would drive me SO far out of my routine comfort zone...

A: "I think we should just let them HAVE our house. For no money. Let's just leave and let them have it."

Me: "That's also a great idea, A." Another idea encouraged that I would move quickly away from in my mind and never really consider.

So, tonight I am wondering. How tightly am I holding my life, my house, my routines. I feel much too poor to give away my house or open it up to others that need shelter...would I even hear the LORD if He ever asked me to do these things?

I wonder if it was the pure voice of the Holy Spirit coming through my children's mouths tonight. It seems like my life is so wrapped up in how I feel, what I want, what we need, bedtimes, and money limitations.

In the past few weeks God has had me on a crash course to learning dependence and surrender in the midst of tough relationships. An emotional surrender. Now I am wondering, is He also leading me to dependence and surrender of my physical life as well? A physical surrender? Both are painful and scary in different ways, but both end in living a life full of unimaginable joy. The more He leads me to surrender things I never thought I could, the more deep fulfilling joy I experience.

I see Him in His great grace attacking two powerful strongholds in my life. 1. My need for the approval and recognition of others. By His grace, I am learning to receive my value and significance in Him alone. 2. My want worm. The more He breaks me away from these strongholds, the more of this amazing life I see, feel, and experience.

I look forward to the work He continues to do in me and I am so grateful for the work He has already done. Five years ago I would never have believed I could be this full with joy and that I really could be satisfied in the Lord. He works all things for good and is so faithful to finish the work He starts in us!

I hear Him saying to me, "Child, let it all go. Release your needs to Me instead of spending your life trying to get each one met. I am trustworthy with evey need. I am faithful to every promise. I am a strong shelter for your soul. I am all the love and acceptance you need in every moment. I AM. I AM enough for your every need to be overwhelmingly satisfied...and I love you. Trust me and let it all go!"

I will. "I will" is a tough response when we're talking about acceptance, our house, our cars, our life, our hopes, our dreams, our children...

I will trust you with it all, because you are I AM.

L Bear

Our little L Bear is 14 months old-oh my, that has to be one of the most fun ages of all! I love it! She is starting to explore her legs thinking they might be able to jump someday. She looks in the mirror, screams, and then laughs. She loves her screaming face! Ha! She passionately calls Matt, "Mama!" She has a new affectionate term for me: Mommy-a. She hugs and kisses all of us spontaneously. She runs to the refrigerator when we ask her if she wants her milk. Oh, the list goes on and on.

One of my favorite things recently is her love of wearing her socks on her hands. Not just any socks. The red polka dot socks. She finds them in the laundry basket and brings them to me to put on her hands. Then she wears them until we have to take one off for her to eat or take a bath! Haha. So cute. Motherhood is so entertaining! I love it.

Ballet Magnificat!

A and I went to the Ballet Magnificat! last night in Waco. It was an authentic time of worship for the dancers, which was such a treat for us.

About halfway into the show, A said, "Look Mommy! They are praising God with their hands, their bodies, AND their feet!" She was thrilled to see the girls "dancing to God." Oh, it makes my heart flip just to remember it!

If you ever get the chance to go to a Ballet Magnificat! I highly recommend it! They are really good dancers and it's moving to be a part of their worship.

www.balletmagnificat.com

Fuzzy Faces

I LOVE having little ones and spending a lot of time with them. Much of the time it is super hard and I fail miserably at it, but it is also so fun!

Today I was tucking in the girls for nap. I gave S her hugs and kisses and we had a funny little talk.

"Mommy, I love your hugs."
"Thank you! I love your hugs, too."
"I love your mouth. And your cheeks."
"Thank you S."
"You don't have fuzzy on your mouth and your cheeks. Daddy has fuzzy on his mouth and his cheeks. God doesn't make fuzzy on mommy faces. He only makes fuzzy on daddy faces. Hmm."

S doesn't like it when I laught at her serious thoughts. It was everything I could do to hold my giggles until I left the room!

I am so thankful to have the work of the Holy Spirit take me over for a couple of weeks. (See previous blog. :-)) For the past couple days I have been cycling back into my "old self behavior." Irritated with kids, insecure around people, etc. Bottom line, self-centered. I am headed to go talk to God about all of it. I just wanted to record S's cuteness before I forgot!